It’s disappointing to lose a bit of respect for a family member, when my hope against the dreaded contrary is beginning to erode. It is now more evident than before that a certain type of people only apply a certain type of skepticism on inexplicable things. In other words, I always had hope that my family member (FM) would – if not even being partly convinced – at least be open to challenge and change about her deeply held beliefs. Today it became clear that it is not the case, nor will it be, it’s too ingrained in her convictions. Before resuming my tirade, here are some increasingly tiresome caveats on this matter: Yes, everyone is free to believe whatever they want. Yes… oh, that’s about it!

However, when FM falls prey to obvious selection bias, confides inexorably in the fact that everything she experiences directly must be true, seeks excuses in a vast cosmic ambiguity and believes that her firstborn is somehow special because of some dream-state intercourse with Jesus, which also predicted that her child would become a “Great teacher” (yes, seriously), then it starts to dawn on me that FM quite likes it in the deep end. And when I try to inform her about the scientific alternatives and explanations on the matter in question, she either falls back in the elusive safety net of anecdotal testimony, unwillingness to admit committed logical fallacies or simply joke the conversation away. I’m starting to have greater sympathy for teachers who tries to educate unruly students. Nonetheless, this is nothing new. These are the hallmarks of any stout believer, more or less.

This is not a woe me account or a way for me to elevate myself (maybe). It’s just a personally discouraging realization. Because the universe and its contents function according to set natural laws. Reality isn’t whatever I or anyone else want it to be. There can actually exist a higher provisional probability for a proposition to be true and a lower provisional probability for a proposition to be untrue. I strive only to adhere and inform of all phenomenon closer to the truth, while FM generally does so too, she still has decisively shielded an incompatible part of her worldview from honest criticism. The horrible truth is that one side of this argument is more scientifically supported than the opposing one, and that FM probably isn’t going to at the least give my side a logical chance.

Alas, you can’t always change someone else’s mind. There is however a silver lining in this, for me. No, not only because I rather choose rationality over irrationality, but also due to the slight and inevitable ego-boost it generates (Believe it or not, a healthy and directed ego-boost can make one’s outlook on matters a lot more rewarding, even failures as well as successes!). I can now more strongly contrast my skeptic and atheist views with that of my family – not a though job when one half is spiritual and the other is of a simpler kind. Nonetheless, I still love them, of course.

In the end however, I revel in the empirical facts and objective nature of my dark wool, and all things considered, I really am the lucky one.